This is long overdue, sorry for the huge wait. A couple weeks ago Tommy and I went over things that had the new HST tax put on them, and with everyone in mind, we did our best to find some reasonable solutions on how to save yourself money. Below is the list of what is being taxed, with my suggestions in BOLD
Dry-Cleaning: Get yourself a washing machine. Seriously. Would you rather wash your clothes yourself or pay some asian lady to throw it into a back room filled with other asians who will clean your clothes. I have nothing against asians but.....I'll clean my clothes myself thanks.
Alcohol: This should be easy enough, just don't drink. Instead of picking up a beer, open up a can of pop or something. Or better yet, grab an assortment of fruits and beat the living shit out of them until you have achieved homemade fruit punch.
Maids: Get a new fetish. While I am sure plenty of people think hot girls in french maids outfits are hot (I won't lie I am one of those people) I feel that you could get more bang for your buck (no pun intended) if you....I don't know....went to a strip joint or something? However I must admit they can make a house remarkably clean.
Internet: Trust me when I say to just put up with this. No you do not want to stop using the internet. You like my blog, and you like Fusion Rock Radio, so therefore you LOVE the internet. End of story.
House Bills: This one you kind of have to put up with. Unless you wanna show the government the middle finger and then deal with the collection agencies (this is NOT recommended).
Interior House Renovations: Simply don't do anything that would cause your house to fall apart. This includes living in it. So simply you buy a house, then pitch a tent and live on the front lawn for the rest of your life. However this interferes with the next thing being taxed.....
Exterior House Renovations: So you can't live IN your house and you can't live OUTSIDE your house. So is the government trying to advocate homelessness? My suggestion would be either; a) don't have a house with a lawn, or b) Don't worry about the state of your lawn....EVER
Hotel Rooms: If you are like Tommy and use hotels when you go on vacation to places your choices are to either put up with the HST or to bring a box with you and find a nice comfortable alleyway. If you aren't like Tommy or those who use hotels when going on trips or such....well....just stop highering hookers.
Taxis: With this I am serious, USE PUBLIC TRANSIT.
Camp Sites: Just camp in your backyard. It's about as much outdoors as your family will be willing to put up with for you, trust me.
Audio Books: Well...how about picking up and reading a real book you illiterate bastards?
Home Renovations: This is more of less interior/exterior home renovations rolled together. Easy answer is don't own a house.
Magazines Subscriptions: Why are you reading magazines in the first place? It's bad enough that the parasitic paparazzi trails all these stupid celebrities, but do you really need to buy their products? For shame sir, for shame.....
Gasoline: Well if you are an arsonist, I would HIGHLY suggest cutting back on your habit to see things burn to the ground. Not only to save yourself a little bit of money, but also, you know, to keep yourself out of jail. Any of you who drive cars are kind of screwed though unless you want to stop driving.
Real-estate Commissioning: Quite simply, don't buy or sell a house. It really seems like the government wants us all on the street eh?
Vitamins: If you were eating healthy in the first place you wouldn't need the vitamins you moron.
Gym stuff: This includes stuff like 'Family Fitness' or [insert generic gym name here]. I have an idea. Instead of paying out the ass for a gym membership, buy a bike, or something for you to do at home. Trust me, at home there will be less people pointing at you and laughing.
Hair Salon/Stylists: My advice is this, get rid of your hair, then you don't have to worry about it ever again. Simple solution to an annoying problem =)
Spa Stuff: Why do you need to go to the spa? Do you really have such a stressful life that you need to go somewhere to get pampered by people that get paid to more or less act like your slaves for a day? Really? If that is the case you need to find a new life and FAST.
Cigarettes: Why are you smoking in the first place? If you are willing to spend $35 for cancer sticks already, then I will not feel sorry for you paying a couple extra more dollars for those death inducing devices the government is too stupid to take off of store shelves.
Animal Slaying Licenses: I call then that, because that is what they are. Fishing and Hunting licenses are licenses you get which allow you to slay animals. Tasty animals at the. Don't worry about paying extra, instead worry about PETA threatening your family for what you are doing.
Funeral Services: Yes that is right. The government is now taxing you to DIE. Those blood suckers in the government are so damn greedy they will take every penny they can from you. Even while your carcass is being eaten by worms, ants and other things that crawl around in the dirt. By best advice for avoiding this thing with HST is simple. DON'T DIE. EVER.
Hopefully this handy list will help you save some money in the near future =)
-Adam
Dry-Cleaning: Get yourself a washing machine. Seriously. Would you rather wash your clothes yourself or pay some asian lady to throw it into a back room filled with other asians who will clean your clothes. I have nothing against asians but.....I'll clean my clothes myself thanks.
Alcohol: This should be easy enough, just don't drink. Instead of picking up a beer, open up a can of pop or something. Or better yet, grab an assortment of fruits and beat the living shit out of them until you have achieved homemade fruit punch.
Maids: Get a new fetish. While I am sure plenty of people think hot girls in french maids outfits are hot (I won't lie I am one of those people) I feel that you could get more bang for your buck (no pun intended) if you....I don't know....went to a strip joint or something? However I must admit they can make a house remarkably clean.
Internet: Trust me when I say to just put up with this. No you do not want to stop using the internet. You like my blog, and you like Fusion Rock Radio, so therefore you LOVE the internet. End of story.
House Bills: This one you kind of have to put up with. Unless you wanna show the government the middle finger and then deal with the collection agencies (this is NOT recommended).
Interior House Renovations: Simply don't do anything that would cause your house to fall apart. This includes living in it. So simply you buy a house, then pitch a tent and live on the front lawn for the rest of your life. However this interferes with the next thing being taxed.....
Exterior House Renovations: So you can't live IN your house and you can't live OUTSIDE your house. So is the government trying to advocate homelessness? My suggestion would be either; a) don't have a house with a lawn, or b) Don't worry about the state of your lawn....EVER
Hotel Rooms: If you are like Tommy and use hotels when you go on vacation to places your choices are to either put up with the HST or to bring a box with you and find a nice comfortable alleyway. If you aren't like Tommy or those who use hotels when going on trips or such....well....just stop highering hookers.
Taxis: With this I am serious, USE PUBLIC TRANSIT.
Camp Sites: Just camp in your backyard. It's about as much outdoors as your family will be willing to put up with for you, trust me.
Audio Books: Well...how about picking up and reading a real book you illiterate bastards?
Home Renovations: This is more of less interior/exterior home renovations rolled together. Easy answer is don't own a house.
Magazines Subscriptions: Why are you reading magazines in the first place? It's bad enough that the parasitic paparazzi trails all these stupid celebrities, but do you really need to buy their products? For shame sir, for shame.....
Gasoline: Well if you are an arsonist, I would HIGHLY suggest cutting back on your habit to see things burn to the ground. Not only to save yourself a little bit of money, but also, you know, to keep yourself out of jail. Any of you who drive cars are kind of screwed though unless you want to stop driving.
Real-estate Commissioning: Quite simply, don't buy or sell a house. It really seems like the government wants us all on the street eh?
Vitamins: If you were eating healthy in the first place you wouldn't need the vitamins you moron.
Gym stuff: This includes stuff like 'Family Fitness' or [insert generic gym name here]. I have an idea. Instead of paying out the ass for a gym membership, buy a bike, or something for you to do at home. Trust me, at home there will be less people pointing at you and laughing.
Hair Salon/Stylists: My advice is this, get rid of your hair, then you don't have to worry about it ever again. Simple solution to an annoying problem =)
Spa Stuff: Why do you need to go to the spa? Do you really have such a stressful life that you need to go somewhere to get pampered by people that get paid to more or less act like your slaves for a day? Really? If that is the case you need to find a new life and FAST.
Cigarettes: Why are you smoking in the first place? If you are willing to spend $35 for cancer sticks already, then I will not feel sorry for you paying a couple extra more dollars for those death inducing devices the government is too stupid to take off of store shelves.
Animal Slaying Licenses: I call then that, because that is what they are. Fishing and Hunting licenses are licenses you get which allow you to slay animals. Tasty animals at the. Don't worry about paying extra, instead worry about PETA threatening your family for what you are doing.
Funeral Services: Yes that is right. The government is now taxing you to DIE. Those blood suckers in the government are so damn greedy they will take every penny they can from you. Even while your carcass is being eaten by worms, ants and other things that crawl around in the dirt. By best advice for avoiding this thing with HST is simple. DON'T DIE. EVER.
Hopefully this handy list will help you save some money in the near future =)
-Adam