1. They taste good. This should be plainly obvious. Unless you got your tongue cut off at a young age or have a health condition that does not allow you to taste anything, the simple fact that turkey tastes amazing should be all the reason you need to roast up one of our feathered friends.
2. The accessories. Turkey I find is one of the only meat products that we like to fully accessorize. We shove tasty spiced bread crumbs up its ass, surround it with lovely fruits and vegetables, coat it in gravy...geeze you'd think we were actually just celebrating the idea of cooking the damned bird!
3. The leftovers. I myself enjoy a well made turkey sandwich, and no not one of those sandwiches made out of the plastic meat you get from the deli counter at the grocery store. I mean REAL huge chunks of cooked turkey flesh slammed in between two slices of bread with mayo and a bit of lettuce. THAT is a sandwich!
4. Stuffing!!! While I already mentioned stuff as an 'accessory' I feel I should mention it again, for the simple reason that stuffing seems to be something that is only made with turkey. You don't make stuffing with roast beef, and you usually don't make it with chicken as the damned things are too small to have spiced bread shoved up their rectum. As such stuffing is one thing most people look forward to when they hear the mention of a turkey dinner, me included!
5. The cooking time....While most people will argue with me on this there isn't much work behind a turkey dinner. Sure if you want to pull out all the stops by making every vegetable under the sun (oh and don't forget the cranberry sauce!) then of course you are going to need to get slave children shipped in to work for you. Otherwise you wake up at around 10am, toss the meat in the oven and let it sit there for 7 bloody hours, after which you take it out, cut it up and fling it at peoples faces!
6. The wish-bone. While as you get older the wish-bone seems more and more idiotic, the fact remains that it can be a way for you to show superiority over the other people in your family. "Oh you got the smaller end? I guess that's because I AM BETTER THAN YOU!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
7. Other boney areas. I myself love to condone silly useless behavior in any and all its forms. As such you can have a 'sword' fight using the turkey's legs as your weapons. It won't hurt (much) and makes for some hilarious events as if you do it when there is still meat on them people get covered in turkey and is the cause of parental screaming and sibling hilarity.
8. Hmmm....what else is there? It's hard to think up 10 reasons why you should eat turkey besides the obvious numbers 1 and 2 but I am doing my best to stretch this as far as I possibly can. I guess the next point as to why you should enjoy eating turkey is really not one set in stone as things are different for everyone. However if you like your family and can tolerate them long enough to stuff your face full with food then a turkey dinner can be a moderately pleasant time to spend a day with your relatives all the while reminding them your birthday and/or Christmas is coming up and there is something you really want or you will act like they kicked you in the nuts.
Well I guess I lied. Turns out I can only think up 8 reasons to eat turkey. How about those of you out there help me? If you can think up another reason why a turkey dinner is the most amazing thing in the world let me know by emailing me at geekoftheweek@fusionrockradio.com
I may consider posting my favorite ideas up on the blog =D
-Adam